Renewed

Recently, I’ve started opening up on my social media accounts about the struggle I’ve had with ADHD. I realized that by keeping that part of my life to myself I was, in a way, being dishonest about who I really am. And that’s not something I want to continue doing.

At 9 years old I was diagnosed with ADHD and for a long time that diagnosis brought me shame. It made me feel like my mind was broken. Having ADHD made me feel stupid, it made me feel less than and it made me feel as though I wasn’t good enough. These feelings were often validated in my mind when I would fail a test that other students easily passed or when a teacher would call on me and I realized I had been looking at them but hadn’t heard a single word they said for who knows how long.

Those feelings of shame and brokenness followed me throughout my childhood, my teenage years and into adulthood. I still feel embarrassment when I constantly forget things or when I try to accomplish a single task but get so distracted by other things on my way that I realize that I never accomplished what I set out to do. These are daily struggles.

It’s only been very recently that I’ve started to find the good in my ADHD. I’ve realized that I wouldn’t be the creative person I am without it and therefore would never have found my love for jewelry making - something that makes me so incredibly happy and gives me that feeling of accomplishment that I crave.

After starting to open up about my struggles with ADHD I came across a set of rings that I had made while working towards my degree at Grand Valley State University. The rings were made with pieces of broken plate that were then set in sterling silver. I realized that those pieces of broken plate perfectly described how I often felt about my mind. I realized that just because something is broken or isn’t functioning as it should in no way means that it doesn’t have the potential to become something beautiful or treasured. That in it’s own way, it’s brokenness is exactly what makes it beautiful in the first place.

Making these pieces was therapeutic in a sense because I was able to take something that was broken and give it new life with my own hands. It’s definitely the most personal and meaningful collection I’ve created thus far and I have to say, I’m so proud of it. I hope the care and love I put into each piece shows and that by wearing one of the rings or earrings or necklaces reminds you that there is beauty in brokenness.

I’m still working on finding the more positive aspects of ADHD and not letting the difficult parts take control. It’s so easy to wallow in the forgetfulness, the inability to focus, and the impulsivity rather than turning my thoughts towards my creativity, my ability to spend countless hours on a single project and the energy I’m able to put towards a meaningful goal.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read more about my life and who I am. Moving forward I’m going to be more open and honest about my struggles with ADHD in the hopes that it inspires other people to do the same. Maybe, someday, sharing our broken pieces will become less of a taboo and more of something that can bring people together in a community of support.

~Katelyn